While I was sick, I lost a lot of weight. In just about a weeks time, I went from 195 to 188. I knew that as soon as I got better and started eating again, the weight would come back, until I “really” lost it.  And it has, I was prepared for that and my weight bounced back up to 194 over the weekend.    What I was not prepared for was the struggle I have had for the last week with food. Things that I have not craved, that actually disgusted me, over the last year, I have eaten in the last week.  I keep trying to tell myself it was an abberation, that that is not me any more and that as soon as I get back to really feeling better, those things will go back to being disgusting. I start off every morning determined to be completely on program, and by evening I am beating myself up because I ate the wrong thing again.  At this moment, I would be happy with just one day where nothing I ate made me feel bad about myself.  I am praying that this is just a reaction to me getting better, my body trying to heal itself, and also praying that I gain back some control soon.

The only thing I am on the right track with is my excercise, I have been using a new excercise plan that has me doing 30 minutes of cardio a day with weight training on M, W, and F.  I got a great deal on a floor model elliptical at sears a few weeks ago. They were no longer selling that model, and it was hands down the best machine they had  in the store.  It has a chest strap that sends information about your heart rate directly to the machine, and several programs that let me do intervals or set the machine to keep my heart rate at a certain level. It really really gives you a workout.

 Hopefully pictures of a couple of new projects tommorrow.  We are off to homeschool co-op!

Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. –Proverbs 2: 3-6