I have struggled about whether to even write this post. I like that this is the place I can talk about my life freely. this involves other people’s life’s too, though, and I would hate to upset any of them. I finally figured that if I didn’t get too personal it would be okay, but if any of you think I am wrong, let me know, posts can be taken down as quickly as they are put up.

Easter Sunday, it rained and rained here. My goat was either in labor, very sick or both. I had been out in the barn since 4:30 am, and I was damp, cold, cranky and tired. I had one of the handsets down in the barn so I could call Sean on the intercom if I needed anything. About 9:00 or so the phone rang, and I knew when I looked at the caller ID what the caller was going to tell me. I had been expecting that phone call all day,but the day was almost over,and i had convinced myself it wasn’t going to come. So I was kind of shocked when it did. One of my dearest friends had passed away.

She was the first friend I made after moving to Oklahoma, and truly a woman of God. I was a new Christian, and she did so much to encourage me as I sorrowed over the sin of my past, and worried about was I homeschooling right? Was I doing the right thing? She prayed with me over concerns both large and small, and she was the first person I called when I needed to vent about anything. she always heard me out, and she was always on my side, even when I was probably in the wrong. She was the person i called when i just needed a break in my day I was always able to be myself with her, and she loved me anyway. In truth, she gave more to me just by being there than I was ever able to give to her. I sat behind her in church on Sundays, braved going to co-op because I knew she’d be there and I wouldn’t be a stranger to everybody, looked forward to the chance to see her on election days because she worked the polling place, and on and on. There is almost no part of my life that didn’t involve her in some way, shape or form.

She had been fighting this battle with cancer since the fall, and while she didn’t when the war, she has the final victory. I know she is in Heaven, sitting at the feet of Jesus. She shared the knowledge of Him with everyone she met. I remember one time her telling me about a conversation she had with a telemarketer about Jesus. I wish I was able to share Him so freely like that, but that is not the way He made me. I’m more shy, more timid about talking to a stranger about anything at all, how do I bring up Jesus? I just keep praying He will give me the words to say, and put me in the path of someone who needs to hear them..

I know eventually I will quit crying at the drop of a hat, that tears at the thought of her will turn into smiles as I remember my dear, sweet friend. Good bye is never easy and we had decided we weren’t going to say good- bye anymore a couple of months ago, so I won’t say it now.

Love ya, Mary. See you later!

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